The Flathead Police Blotter

In my real life, I live in the city. I love where I live, but... it's the city. Doors are locked as soon as you go inside. I do not walk at night. Someone escorts me to my car after work. My house has been broken into while I was at home. My car has been vandalized... several times. And I got used to hearing drunk people shout about killing me or kicking my ass. Point is, there's crime. Every day. All around you.

When I was in Montana, one of my favorite parts of the week was reading the Flathead Beacon's Police Blotter. Every Wednesday the free weekly paper of the Flathead Valley would turn up around town. I would grab one and sit outside on my balcony, the mountains framing said valley, and I would read. And laugh. I think the man who summarizes the police calls has a pretty great job, and like any great obituary writer, his words scream with personality.

Check it out: Flathead Beacon: police blotter

You'll note much irony, many kids misbehaving, drunken incidents with forks at bars, a lot of strange "activity" surrounding cars, and many complaints of spotted wildlife. The only real crime seems to happen in Evergreen, most of the crimes at bars have a woman in the center (who usually does the stabbing), neighbors fight a lot, and the whole thing manages to read like the modern frontier in bullet points.

I don't want to enjoy crime anywhere, but in the Flathead Valley of Montana, it at least makes for some pretty great reading.